Two mathematicians are having dinner in a restaurant, arguing about what the unwashed masses understand about math. The first (and somewhat snotty) mathematician claims that the average American has trouble counting, much less doing complex math; the second (and rather down with the modern student, if he does say so himself) mathematician says people are generally smarter than they know, and you just have to encourage them to feel their inner Euler (so to speak).

The snotty one says, "OK, put your money where your mouth is: ask our waitress a simple Calculus question, and if she gets the answer right, you win the argument and I'll pay for dinner. But if she doesn't know what you are talking about, you have to shut up and pay up."

Our math "Dude" quickly agrees, but when the first guy goes to the mens' room, he quickly calls the waitress over and whispers, "It's not important, why, but I'm going to ask you a question when my friend comes back, and just remember that the answer is 'one third x-cubed.' You don't need to know why; all you need to know is there is a 50 dollar tip in it for you if you give me the answer correctly." She nods hurridly and paces off with a tray full of dishes.

Both of them back at the table, the waitress comes by to leave the check, the first guy raises his eyebrows with great significance at the second guy, and our math spokesman says, "Do you mind if I ask you what the integral of x-squared is?"

The waitress hems and haws and closely examines the ceiling while apparently trying to shove her tongue through the middle of her left cheek. Eventually she hesitantly says, "um, one third x-cubed...?"

Thanked for her answer, she picks up the payment (and hefty tip), and turns to walk away. Two steps away, she stops, turns back to the table, and announces clearly, "Plus a constant...ASSHOLE!"