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Glenn Beck Tragically Alive After Fatal Car Accident
News ticker stories (stolen from Reddit)...

- Black & Decker named official torture device of the 'hostel' series.
- New fertility drug promises to help couples realize dream of having TLC show.
- Media watchdogs criticize Calvin Klein's 'Penetration' cologne.
- Report: Wikipedia ushering in golden age of Holocaust revisionism.
- Haagen-Dazs released new line of ice creams for barren women.
- White house reluctantly accepts Collect Call from Indonesia.
- IRS rebrands itself 'The S' to appeal to younger demographic.
- Happening Now: Cottage cheese ruined by mental image of grandmother eating cottage cheese.
- Jonathan Taylor Thomas re-released from Disney Vault.


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